Dear Blog Reader,
As you hopefully have not heard, the twelfth installment in Lemony Snicket’s dreadful chronicle of the miserable lives of the Baudelaire orphans, entitled A Series of Unfortunate Events, has recently been published, as has its title, making an alarming total of 18, count them, 18 depressing books:
The Bad Beginning, Book the First
The Reptile Room, Book the Second
The Wide Window, Book the Third
The Miserable Mill, Book the Fourth
The Austere Academy, Book the Fifth
The Ersatz Elevator, Book the Sixth
The Vile Village, Book the Seventh
The Hostile Hospital, Book the Eighth
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
The Carnivorous Carnival, Book the Ninth
The Slippery Slope, Book the Tenth
The Blank Book
The Grim Grotto, Book the Eleventh
Behind the Scenes with Count Olaf
The Puzzling Puzzles: Bothersome Games Which Will Bother Some People
The Ponderous Postcards
The Pessimistic Posters
The Penultimate Peril, Book the Twelfth
You should stay far away from all of these, especially this latest one, as it contains such distressing things as a very loud clock, stolen bank money, the Dewey Decimal System, a jeweled turban, two enormous spatulas, several familiar faces, 1,001 thimble-sized bells, and the poetry of John Godfrey Saxe. But misfortune-filled books are not the only things you need to watch out for, as Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events is also a gloomy game for PC, Xbox, PlayStation 2, GameCube, and Game Boy Advance, as well as a melancholy movie on DVD, VHS, and, starting November 15, UMD for PlayStation Portable.
With all due respect,
Jesse Exum
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